


Steve Rogers and the Closet of Denial

by wolfelements



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Comedy, Coming Out, Confused Steve Rogers, First Kiss, M/M, Not Post-The Avengers Compliant, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers is an Ancient Snowflake, Steve Rogers vs The Internet, Tony Stark Has A Heart, at least i hope so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28566429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfelements/pseuds/wolfelements
Summary: Steve took one look at Tony Stark, with his bed head and actual engine grease on his cheek at two in the afternoon, and realized he was completely and utterly in love. And also screwed, because Tony was his friend’s son and liking fellas wasn’t exactly something Steve should be indulging in...right?OR: How Steve Rogers tip-toes his way out of his big gay closet.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 147





	Steve Rogers and the Closet of Denial

**Author's Note:**

> I posted Chapter 14 of Hazy Shade of Winter yesterday, a Bucky/Tony OmegaVerse story of drama and psycho!Steve and it made my heart hurt. I missed clueless/adorable Steve. So, I wrote this to cheer myself up and remind myself that Steve Rogers just needs a cuddle and to be explained how the Internet works.
> 
> So, this was born. Hurrah!

Slowly, but surely, everyone developed their own level of residence in the Avengers Tower. They liked to joke that Steve was the first actual resident, but that was due to him actually getting mail. He argued that a Discover credit card offer didn’t count and Bruce had been navigating the labs for three months before Steve fell asleep on the couch that first time. He had woken up four hours later - his standard - to find himself covered in an Iron Man throw blanket and an Iron Man plushie in his arms. 

The Internet had cooed over the image for weeks. Steve still wasn’t sure if he forgave Tony for that one.

Overall, though, it was a cozy little set up Tony had created for them. It made Steve feel relaxed for the first time since the United States had declared war on the Nazis, which was a long time to be overly wound up. Steve wasn’t entirely sure what to do with this newfound peace in himself, the urge to look around every corner in his own home slowly fading.

Well, he still looked around every corner because no matter where he went, Tony was always there, making Steve feel...strange. And the man had no idea he was doing it. 

Steve would come up from working out, in desperate need of a shower because being a super soldier did not mean he didn’t sweat, only to find Tony standing randomly in the hallway. Just staring. Then the man would swallow, mumble something, and practically run away. Like he couldn’t stand to be near Steve. 

So Steve started taking more showers, to keep his sweat and work-out smell from bothering Tony so much.

Other times, Steve would be minding his own business, only to have Tony sweep through the room in a stressful rush, dressed to impress in one of his power-suits and holding his phone to his ear. The man would be talking a mile a minute, hand waving around, and just looking in need of a hug or a muscle relaxer, something to get him to sit down.

So Steve, noting this usually happened around the same time of the day, starting ensuring the coffee pot was full and Tony’s favorite pastry was sitting right next to it, ready and primed for him. Tony adapted to this little treat pretty easily and never said thank you, but Steve didn’t mind. It saved him the headache of watching the man freak out every morning.

Often, Steve would come home from a SHIELD mission, tired and sore but feeling like he had done some good in the world, only to find Tony had fallen asleep trying to get to bed. It was the oddest habit he had ever witnessed, the man would start heading for his floor from his workshop, only to end up in the strangest places, asleep and dead to the world. He had even once found him draped across the kitchen table, using a loaf of bread as a pillow.

So Steve, sighing affectionately, would scoop the smaller man up in his arms and let Jarvis control the elevator, so he could carry Tony to his own bed. He’d take off the man’s shoes and tuck him in. He’d even make sure there was a glass of water and aspirin next to him for the morning, because he knew Tony had either been bent over a computer or drinking and would end up with a headache either way.

Eventually, Bruce brought it upon himself to comment on Steve’s actions, in what was probably the rudest way possible. “I’m glad the two of you found each other.”

“What?” Steve asked, confused.

“Huh?” Bruce replied, looking confused himself. “You and Tony. Aren’t you two together?”

“We’re friends and live in the same home,” Steve offered, knowing he had a baffled look on his face, the one Natasha consistently smirked at even though she knew it hurt his feelings.

“Oh, I see,” Bruce said, sounding a little sad.

The man walked away, leaving Steve utterly lost. 

Steve knew he was often confused about things, it wasn’t something he could actually help. SHIELD was probably the worst help in the world when it came to getting a guy used to a whole new century. Fury had tossed him a report on the key events of the last few decades and left Steve to try to decipher why tearing down a wall had anything to do with a man named Hasselhoff. Natasha had said that Fury had put that in there as a joke, but Steve thought it was a little cruel to put jokes in an information packet provided to a man who knew absolutely nothing about everything around him.

Thank God, in all His mercy, for Tony Stark.

Tony had designed Steve’s space to help him adapt. It had all the classic features of the forties, all the way down to a record player that Tony had said he found in his father’s storage. On top of that was a computer that was designed by Tony to teach Steve how to use it, instead of being expected to know how to maneuver through everything.

The man even gave him paper files when the Avengers met up to go over a new mission. Though, this did come with a lecture on saving the environment that Steve grew fond of, watching Tony roll his eyes and scoff in Steve’s direction.

So, yes, Tony was Steve’s friend. Nothing more. Besides, men weren’t supposed to be together like that. He pointed that out to Bruce the next day, only to wonder about the sad look he got in return.

He made the mistake of mentioning the conversation to Clint, who told him he had the perfect show for Steve to watch to give him an idea of what Bruce was hinting at. Steve, horrified, shut off Queer As Folk five minutes in and promised himself to never accept cultural help from Clint Barton ever again. He knew Natasha would help him, but he didn’t want to deal with her smirking and teasing the entire time. Thor was still going through whatever trials Loki was being subjected to and odds were the Asgardian wouldn’t know Earth culture anyway.

Asking Tony seemed like a good idea until he realized the whole problem started because Bruce was under the impression that Steve thought that way about Tony and something in Steve was utterly terrified of Tony finding out about that.

So that left the Internet. It was probably one of his better ideas, as well as one of his worst.

Steve had seen nudity before, of course. He did go to war and had rolled his eyes as naked images of women were passed around his troops. He never saw the appeal in them and had endured Bucky’s teasing as a result, but he did take a second to actually look. So he wasn’t utterly clueless. 

That did not prepare Steve for accidentally clicking on a gay pornography site. 

His reaction was probably a little dramatic. He shoved himself away from the desk, hand over his mouth and going pale like he had seen a ghost. He had the urge to throw the computer out the window, the fact that Tony had given it to him being the only thing stopping him. Having no other choice, he threw up in his trash bin.

A little ashamed of himself twenty minutes and a cleaning spree later, Steve slowly sat back down in his chair and scooted back up to the desk. Nervously, he eyed the black screen, before reaching out and touching the little sensor to wake it up again. It lit up and there, just as before, was the website. Steve swallowed, looked over his shoulder, and glanced nervously at the moving image proudly being displayed before him.

He did his best to ignore the actual sexual part of the scene, though the thrusting was somewhat hypnotic and he couldn’t understand how any of that could be pleasurable, but the smaller brunette in the video seemed to be having the time of his life. And he kind of looked like Tony.

Knowing his face was redder than a tomato, Steve quickly shut off the website, switching back to the search engine he had been on. He skimmed past what was clearly more porn sites, before a site claiming to be a forum caught his eye. The description looked promising and Steve could definitely agree that he was confused and could use a little advice.

And that was how Steve Rogers found himself registered on an online group dedicated to young men who were questioning their sexuality and afraid of what those around them would say. It was oddly liberating. No one on there knew he was Captain America, and it was almost like he was actually making friends.

If he occasionally glanced back at that one particular porn site with the brunette it wasn’t a big deal, it wasn’t like he was dirtying himself over it. According to the forum, curiosity was normal and didn’t have to mean anything.

Eventually, he knew something was going to happen to ruin it all. Naturally, it had to be Tony. 

“So, uh, Cap,” Tony started, after asking Steve to help him wash dishes after dinner. Steve had agreed because Tony had been spending so much time in his workshop recently that Steve had started to miss him, that and Tony agreeing to do anything domestic was something Steve had to see for himself. 

“Yes?” Steve asked when Tony didn’t continue.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time on the Internet lately,” Tony said, “and, uh, Bruce came to me the other day thinking he upset you. Now, I’m not saying I peeked at your browser history to make sure you weren’t having a big WASP-like homophobic freak out on me, but, well... I kind of peeked at your browser history.”

“My...what?” Steve asked, trying to figure out what Tony was talking about, though he could figure out it was about Bruce thinking Steve was gay from the context clues. Which Steve still didn’t think was true, no matter what username switch-hitter32 kept saying.

“I just wanted to let you know, as a friend,” Tony said slowly, rinsing off the last plate and resting a damp hand on Steve’s shoulder. Steve fought to focus on Tony’s face instead of the heat filtering through the cotton of his shirt. “It’s okay if you’re gay.”

“I’m not,” Steve said, immediately getting defensive.

Tony narrowed his eyes. “I saw the porn site buddy. And not to be all parental controls on you, but you should be careful. I don’t want you giving that poor computer a virus looking at stuff like that.”

“That was an accident.” 

Tony gave a small laugh, before frowning. “Oh, you’re serious. Okay, fine, do whatever it is you’re doing. But you know I’m here for you, right? It’s okay to be gay and all that crap. I’ll even make you a rainbow shield for Gay Pride, if you want.”

“I’m not,” Steve repeated, inwardly cringing because he sounded like he was actually pouting over this.

Tony gave him a fond smile. “Sure thing, buddy.”

Steve walked away from that conversation even more confused than he was when this all started. And naturally, in true Tony fashion, the man thought it would be a good idea to help Steve out. Everywhere Steve went, he kept finding pamphlets about how it was okay to be gay. Random books about historical figures from Steve’s time who turned out to be gay kept popping up on his bookshelf and, oddly, in the bathroom. 

He tried telling his new Internet friends about it, but they actually laughed at him. And then told him it was adorable how much his future boyfriend was trying to help him out.

A week after Tony started giving him those fond little smiles and leaving him the books, Steve decided he needed to get out of the Tower because he couldn’t breathe with Tony looking at him like that. He ignored Bruce’s raised eyebrow, grabbed his hoodie and baseball cap, and rushed out the door. He didn’t even care that he was walking away from a half-finished lunch.

Steve, somehow, ends up in the wrong part of town. At least he assumed, because he doesn’t remember any part of New York being this colorful. Shrugging, Steve wandered over to what looked like a nice café and ordered himself a drink. Realizing, finally, that he actually didn’t finish his lunch he also gets something to eat and prepares himself for a good time simply people watching. 

It takes him about thirty minutes to finally notice it, but eventually it becomes noticeable that there are a lot of happy couples around him. Seconds later, Steve has a hard time swallowing a bite of his sandwich as he sees three couples alone made of only men holding hands as they walk past. He looks the other way, blushing, only to find two men kissing each other goodbye. Steve didn’t think he was capable of having a heart attack anymore, which is a good thing, but apparently he is capable of having a panic attack.

“Hey, sweetie, calm down, breathe,” a high, but soothing voice told him. Steve looked up, meeting warm, concerned brown eyes. He immediately recognized his waiter and started fumbling for his wallet, apologizing as he goes. “Oh, hun, you are either new to the land of gay or you had no idea you were in this side of town, huh?”

Steve looked up at the man, knowing his breathing was even worse than before with his even newer realization, “I don’t have my wallet.”

“Okay, you are about to freak out the locals with your panicking,” the waiter said, grabbing his arm and attempting to lift him up. Steve, of course, doesn’t budge. “Oh, my, you are sturdy. Now, come with me, I’ll get you a glass of water. Up, up.”

“I just need to call my friend. Tony can pay for me.” 

“I have a phone in the back,” the man replied, guiding Steve along.

Steve felt utterly numb by the time he is sitting in a small office, a glass of ice water with a couple of mint leaves sitting before him. He looked up at the man who had helped him, noting that he was giving Steve a suspicious look that should feel familiar, but Steve was just too tired to worry about it. “I’m sorry, I can pay. I just need to get my wallet to me.”

“You are very cute, too cute to be wandering around here like a lost puppy,” the man said with a tsk. He tilted his head at Steve. “You know if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you look like Captain America. Boy, would that be crazy, Captain America in my little gay café, surrounded by rainbows!”

“I didn’t know that’s where I was,” Steve mumbled. 

“Clearly,” he replied, laughing. The man fell silent, staring at him. “Well, shit, you are Captain America.”

Steve could have said no, but his vibrant blush would have given him away anyway, so he figured he might as well stay silent. Steve decided it was best to ignore the man and reached out for the phone, before he hesitated. “Umm, I don’t know Tony’s number off the top of my head.”

“This is the story for the ages,” the man whispered. “Okay, cutie, I will help reunite you with your one true love. Let me go get you a slice of pie, because you still look hungry, and I’m going to go have the love of my life get on his computer and get your man here.”

“Uh, Tony’s not-”

“Hush, I’ve seen your interviews,” he replied. “The way you look at each other is so sweet.”

The man bustled off, leaving Steve terribly confused and realizing he didn’t even know this guy’s name. There was a small possibility he was now being held hostage, but the pie that was brought to him had a delicious flaky crust, and he figured someone who got so happy about Captain America owing him money couldn’t be that bad.

Sadly, whatever email that was sent must have freaked Tony out, because he apparently thought Steve was actually being held hostage. Steve never realized how nice of a sight it was to see Iron Man swooping in to rescue you. The warm feeling in his chest only grew when Iron Man’s face plate lifted back and the man behind it began glaring at anyone nearby, demanding in a loud voice for someone named Mitchel.

Mitchel turned out to be the man helping Steve and the guy wasn't worried at all by Tony’s narrow-eyed expression. In fact, he was practically swooning when Tony stomped his way into the café. “Oh, this is so beautiful, you came to rescue him so fast, and he wasn’t even in any danger. He didn’t even finish his pie!”

“Yeah, can I finish my pie?” Steve asked. “Oh, and did you bring my wallet?”

Tony glared at him, before clanking his way over and stealing Steve’s fork. “You and I are having a long talk when we get back to the Tower. First you’re looking up gay porn, but you’re not gay. Then you’re joining gay support groups online, but still not gay. Hell, Steve, you carry me to bed and take a shower every time you see me, but oh, no, not gay!” Tony paused to take a bite of the pie. “Wow, this is good. So, now what? Is this going to be your new hang out? Is not gay you going to get a not gay boyfriend?”

“I don’t take a shower every time I see you,” Steve protested.

“That’s what you took away from that?” Tony asked, looking flustered. For a moment, Steve thought Tony was going to fly off in a huff and leave him there in the process, but the man just let out a long sigh and disengaged his suit. He stepped out, hitting a button to cause it to collapse into its little suitcase. Outside of it, Tony always looked small. Not tiny or anything, just smaller than Steve. Like Steve needed to protect him, even though Tony would probably punch him for saying it. “Okay, Mitchel, get me some pie. Steve, I need you to tell me what is going on in that ridiculously sculpted head of yours.”

Steve fidgeted. He avoided Tony’s gaze. He poked at his new slice of pie with his fork. Finally, Tony stopped moaning over his own pie and glared at him again. Once Tony stopped making all that noise, it was a lot easier for Steve to think clearly. Well, a bit clearer. Tony’s intense gaze wasn’t helping things.

“Bruce thought we were a couple,” Steve said.

“Yeah, he told me,” Tony said, giving a half-smile. “That can’t be what’s caused all this.”

“It just...made me think, and I feel...things around you,” Steve said, looking skyward like that would help the conversation go a little faster.

“But you’re not gay? Cause that’s the part that’s keeping me from properly reacting to this,” Tony said, shaking his head. “I’m not going to send you into a huge spiral of self-hatred just because you might have a few feelings. So, what do you want to do? It’s your life, but I have to say that claiming to be one thing and then spending all your time surrounding yourself with that very thing is a little bizarre. It’s like you’re punishing yourself.”

“I’m not-” Steve stopped himself and sighed. “I can’t like...men. I’m a soldier. I’m Captain America, it’s not right.”

“So, what, people who like the man-love aren’t American or can’t be soldiers?” Tony asked. He looked away from a moment, frowning. “I thought you appreciated my abilities in battle. And who here used to walk around basking in the glow of weapon making or practically represents the utter definition of capitalism? So, what, because I like men I can’t do those things well?”

Steve stared at him.

“Oh, sweetie, you broke him,” Mitchel said in hushed voice.

Tony dug his wallet out and handed Mitchel a credit card. “Go box up some more of that pie. And no eavesdropping.”

Steve looked down at his hands and swallowed. “I, uh…”

“I didn’t break you, did I?” Tony asked, leaning closer. Steve wanted to tell him he was a little too close, but he couldn't bring himself to open his mouth and say the words. Tony’s face was open, more open that Steve was used to seeing. His brown eyes were studying Steve’s face intensely. “Hey, I got a car coming, so get it together. You look like you need some sleep. Do I need to actually parent your Internet hours?”

“No,” Steve replied. 

“It’s so cute how sometimes you’re like a teenager,” Tony teased, standing.

Steve followed him out, taking the box of pie Mitchel handed him and ignoring the crowd of people that had gathered outside the café. Yeah, there was definitely going to be something on the news or those stupid tabloids Clint liked to read by tomorrow. Steve glanced at two of the men standing nearby, zoning in on their hands, fingers entwined, before he got into the car with Tony. 

He woke up three nights later at four in the morning, sweat coating his face and chest. He was panting, heart rate rushing through his ears, all signs pointing toward a nightmare. But that was no nightmare. His brain, influenced by the things he’d allowed himself to witness recently, had lowered itself to imagine Tony in such a way. Naked, touching...kissing.

Steve swallowed hard, looking down at his lap and groaning in frustration. He really was like a teenager again, wasn’t he?

And sadly, now he couldn't even look at Tony without blushing. Tony pretended to not notice, that much was obvious, but Steve could tell it was bothering him. The more things bothered Tony? The more the man hid in his workshop, talking to his robots. 

It made Steve realize how much he needed Tony around. His online companions eventually grew tired of him ignoring what was right in his face and laid down the facts, only presenting it in a way that made him realize how stupid he was being. Halfway through explaining to switch-hitter32 on how his sister was clearly in love with her best friend, Steve sat back with what could only be the biggest realization of his life.

The actual truth of it didn’t hit hard until the next afternoon. Steve was in the kitchen, making a grilled cheese sandwich with the full intent of trying to get Tony to eat something, when the man in question stumbled into the room looking like one of those zombies in the horror films Natasha liked to watch with all the lights off. There the man was, bed head framing his face and actual engine grease streaked across one cheek, stumbling over to the coffee maker with an intent only known to the desperate.

It hit Steve hard, hard enough he nearly dropped the spatula holding up the grilled cheese. Quickly he placed it on a plate and gently pushed it within Tony’s sight, telling himself that he did not just realize he was madly in love with Tony Stark.

“Hmm?” Tony blinked down at the sandwich, before picking it up and taking a bite, swallowing it down with the coffee. “Oh God, that’s good, what is that?”

“A grilled cheese,” Steve replied, unable to stop himself from reaching out and guiding the half-asleep man to a dining room chair. Tony slumped down, letting Steve set his coffee cup safely to the side. “What have you been doing down there? You look like crap.”

“Oh, you love me,” Tony said with a grin, tilting his head back to look up at him. 

“Yeah, I do,” Steve said softly, not even caring that he basically gave himself away. “Eat your sandwich.”

Tony took another bite, chewing slowly as he squinted up at Steve. “Liar.”

“What?” Steve asked, frowning.

“You don’t love me,” Tony replied.

“You’re a little...snot,” Steve told him.

“You were going to say shit,” Tony commented, finishing off the sandwich with a ridiculously large bite. He grinned up at Steve. “You don’t love me, and you were going to call me a shit.”

“You can’t tell me what I feel,” Steve pointed out, wondering why he was indulging in Tony right then. Everyone knew that Tony got a little ornery when he was tired and stressed.

“Yes I can,” Tony grumbled, rubbing at his eye and giving a large yawn, looking like a total man-child. He looked back up at him and smirked. “You’re not the only one who can be bossy, Mister Rogers.”

“Tony,” Steve said, exasperated. He walked back over to the kitchen and grabbed a napkin, wetting it briefly from the sink. He made his way back over and, while Tony was watching him with wide brown eyes, he leaned in and began to clean off the grease. “How do you get this stuff everywhere?”

The corner of Tony’s mouth twitched up, but he didn’t say anything.

“That’s as good as I can get it without soap,” Steve said, tossing the napkin in the trash and looking back down at Tony. Then, not even thinking about it, he leaned in and kissed him.

It was quick and Steve could really only feel a tingle against his lips than actual touch, but it was perfect. He was afraid to open his eyes as he pulled away, but when he did he saw Tony staring at him. Tony’s eyes had always been captivating in how they showed his every emotion and right then they were large and showing something soft and caring. 

“Do you realize how long I’ve waited for you to do that?” Tony whispered.

“Why didn’t you do it first? Probably would have saved me a lot of time figuring things out,” Steve countered.

Tony just grinned, grabbed his collar and pulled him into another kiss. It was deep and Steve almost couldn’t handle the intensity of it as Tony’s tongue entered his mouth. Tony pulled away, nipping him lightly on the lower lip, causing Steve to let out a weird grunt-groan sound. “I had to let you get your head on right, popsicle, and make sure you really wanted this.”

“I do,” Steve told him, sounding amazed even to his own ears. “I really do.”

“Well, then, looks like we’ve got some dating to do,” Tony replied, looking a lot more awake than earlier. He was bouncing in his seat like an excited kid and Steve had to fight the urge to tell him how adorable he was.

He wasn’t going to fight the urge to rub it in switch-hitter32’s face that he had a boyfriend now, though.

**Author's Note:**

> And now back to writing Chapter 15 of Hazy Shade of Winter and trying not to cry, cause what the hell...I torture myself through these boys.


End file.
